Fighting Dirty
by hummerhouse
Summary: What happens when Raphael becomes positive he can't be beaten? Rated: R for turtlecest, innuendo, and language. One shot. 2k3


Fighting Dirty

"Come on Mikey, show me what ya' got," Raph urged, his grin wide.

If possible, Mikey's nunchaku began to spin faster. He was watching his brother through wary eyes, although his smile was impossibly bright.

"I'm in top form today Raph," Mikey taunted. "You'll never take me down."

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's what Leo and Don thought too," Raph told him with a loud guffaw.

Off to one side of the dojo, Don leaned towards Leo and said, "He's feeling cocky this morning."

Leo watched his brothers circle each other, his brow furrowed in concentration as he examined their movements. Without looking away from them, he said, "He's still jacked up from the battle we had with the Foot last night. Mikey had better be careful, he isn't going to be able to goad Raph into doing something rash today."

Almost as if he was illustrating Leo's point for him, Mikey made a quick pass at Raph, feinting one direction and then going another. He was agile and quick, easily overmatching Raph in both of those abilities, but the older turtle seemed to be a mind reader this morning. Rather than exposing his side as Mikey had expected, Raph followed through on a spin which put him out of the reach of Mikey's 'chuck.

Undaunted by the failure of his first trick, Mikey said, "Ooh, Raphie's finally learned how to run away."

Raph made as if to spring at Mikey, who took a big leap back in reaction. At the last second, Raph checked his movement and began to laugh.

"What's wrong, Mikey? Afraid ta get too close?" Raph asked.

Mikey hid his surprised expression quickly, letting his trademark grin replace it. "Totally. It's the smell dude, when's the last time you bathed?"

"When's the last time ya' fought with something other than your mouth?" Raph retorted.

"Try this on for size," Mikey replied, rushing at Raph even before he'd finished speaking.

Bobbing and weaving, Raph avoided the first flurry of Mikey's nunchakus. As one of Mikey's wooden shafts swept back towards his head, Raph jabbed at the chain, trapping his brother's weapons on the wings of his sai and then jerking the nunchuck out of Mikey's hand.

Mikey reacted with lightning speed, swinging his remaining nunchuck at Raph's body. The larger turtle twisted his shoulders around to quickly present his carapace, causing the weapon to bounce harmlessly off of the thick plates.

In the same motion, Raph flipped his sai over and jabbed the handle into Mikey's gut.

"Oof!" Mikey bent double, dropping his nunchuck and falling to his knees with his hands clutched to his stomach.

"Haha!" Raph exclaimed, shoving his sai back into his belt. "Three up, three down. This inning is over and so is the game. I win."

"Are you okay, Mikey?" Leo asked, concerned when he noticed that his youngest brother seemed to have turned a different shade of green.

Mikey gulped and then held up a thumb. "I'm glad I didn't eat breakfast yet."

"I'm sure the rest of us are just as happy about that," Don said dryly.

Master Splinter walked over to where Leo and Don were kneeling and waited as Mikey stumbled over to take his place next to them. Strutting like a proud peacock, Raph joined his brothers to form a line in front of their father.

"You performed well, my son," Master Splinter told Raph. "You showed great patience in waiting for each of your brothers to present you with an opening in their defenses and then not only recognized it, but took advantage at a most opportune moment."

"Ya' see that sensei? I'm getting control of my anger issues," Raph said. "I ain't gonna lose it during a fight and do something dumb the way I used ta. Ain't nobody gonna beat me in a fight ever again."

Master Splinter frowned slightly. "Skill and temperament are both of great importance when facing an enemy, but one must not become too overconfident. Humility prevents a ninja from underestimating his opponent."

Raph controlled an urge to snort derisively, instead saying, "It ain't like we don't already know all of our enemies weaknesses, sensei. As long as we ain't got any ourselves, the only thing they have on us is numbers."

"All of us have more than one weak spot Raphael, including you," Master Splinter said, lifting a finger to emphasize his statement.

Looking pointedly at his brothers, Raph smirked and said, "If I do, these guys ain't gonna find it."

"Pride is as much of an enemy to a ninja as any made of flesh and blood," Master Splinter said. "You would do well to remember that my son."

After a few more admonitions aimed at his other three children, Master Splinter left the dojo. As soon as he was out of hearing range, Raph leaped to his feet and crowed, "We all know who the best fighter is in this dojo. Master Splinter had ta say all that other stuff just so you guys wouldn't feel bad."

"You know Raph, there is such a thing as a poor winner," Leo said as he stood up. "You were sharp this morning, there's no doubt about that, but getting a swollen head over it is a mistake."

"I'll take that as a challenge oh fearless one," Raph said, practically laughing in his brother's face. "Why don't ya' spend a few extra hours practicing, maybe tomorrow you'll actually last five minutes against me."

Chortling over his own jibe, Raph made his exit, heading towards the kitchen. Don and Mikey stepped up next to Leo, watching their red banded brother as he disappeared from view.

"If this keeps up, he's going to become insufferable," Don muttered.

"You're the one who has to deal with him the most," Mikey said, pressing his shoulder against Leo's. "Have fun with that."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Often when they patrolled Leo had them separate into pairs so that they could cover more ground. He switched off on pairing assignments in order to maintain his team's balance.

Tonight he kept the four of them together, explaining to his brothers that since they'd thwarted the Foot clans operation the evening before, it was a good bet their arch enemies would be out for blood.

What he didn't say was that he was concerned about Raphael's new found cockiness. Rather than settling down, Raph's bragging seemed to grow more intolerable as the day progressed, he's jibes going beyond the point of good natured.

Even Don, who had been Raph's partner for more than a year, couldn't handle the emerald turtle's strutting and had finally locked himself inside his lab. Mikey had joined Leo in his room for some R & R, and the two of them remained in there until it was time to prepare dinner.

Raph had managed to control himself during the meal and Leo guessed that was only because Master Splinter was at the table. It wouldn't be the first time that their father had kept one of them from patrolling if he had some reason to be annoyed with them.

Leo hoped that tonight would be quiet and that the worst thing they'd run across was a mugger. Unfortunately, they'd only been out for three quarters of an hour when, after chasing a couple of thieves away from a car parked in a loading dock, they found themselves surrounded by Foot ninjas.

Bo staff in hand, Don asked, "Does anyone else smell a set up?"

"All I smell is a good time," Raph said, flourishing his sai. "Last one in hatched from a rotten egg! Yee-friggin-haw!"

With that last joyous shout he leaped right into the middle of a group of Foot soldiers, eyes blazing.

"Hang on! Raph!" Leo called out to no avail. Nodding tersely to his remaining brothers, Leo plunged into the fray.

Mikey and Don broke left and right as the ring of ninjas tried to close in on them. Bo staff twirling faster than the eye could follow, Don spun in a circle, his staff sweeping low to the ground as it cut the feet out from under four ninjas. A quick flick on his wrists sent the ends of his weapon against four heads, rendering them unable to continue the fight.

He looked up in time to see a swarm of bodies dressed in black descend on Raph, completely blocking the large turtle from view. Heart pounding, Don started towards his lover, only to see Raph spring upwards, flinging Foot ninjas in all directions.

Behind him Don could hear Mikey's taunts, the sound of his nunchucks laying mayhem to stubborn ninja jaws and delicate ribs. One of the Foot swung his blade down at Don's head, only to have the blow expertly deflected by the turtle's staff. Turning the staff, Don snapped the end upwards into the ninja's jaw with a force hard enough to send teeth flying.

Three more pressed in on Don, who was starting to enjoy himself. Spinning his staff, Don brought it out in front of him, the end bouncing slightly at the abrupt stop.

Before Don had the chance to engage any of the three, a figure barreled into one of them, sweeping the ninja off his feet and slamming him to the ground with enough force to break his back. The remaining two turned towards Raph, one of them striking at the turtle with his ninjato.

With a scornful laugh, Raph shifted and took the blow on his carapace. Jumping towards the three, Don watched Raph spin around and jam his sai into the man's wrist before bringing a fist up into the ninja's face.

Don's leap brought him within range of the remaining Foot soldier and he wasted no time ramming the side of his staff into the man's stomach. As the soldier bent over in pain, Don rapped the back of his skull with the bo, sending him face first into the pavement.

Sudden silence descended on them and Don took a swift look around. Black garbed Foot ninja lay sprawled in every direction, none of them moving. Leo came out of the shadows, sliding his katanas back into their sheaths, his eyes watchful. From another direction came Mikey, hopping over bodies, his nunchucks idle but still in his hands.

The four brothers looked at each other and then Raph threw his head back, letting forth an unexpected roar.

"Where are ya' Karai?" Raph shouted at the top of his lungs. "Come on ya' bitch! We can handle whatever ya' got!"

"That's enough Raph," Leo snapped, his voice harsh. "We don't invite trouble."

Instead of responding with his usual impatience, Raph laughed at him.

"We don't have ta invite it, trouble finds us just fine," Raph said.

"Not anymore tonight it doesn't," Leo said firmly. "It's time to go home."

For a moment Don thought he saw a flash of rebellion in Raph's eyes, and apparently so did Leo. As the turtle leader braced himself for another in a long line of disagreements with his hot headed brother, Raph surprised everyone by shrugging and amicably settling his sai into his belt.

"Whatever floats your boat, bro'," Raph said, moving off towards the nearest manhole.

From his swagger it almost appeared as if leaving behind what could have developed into another larger fight with the Foot clan was all Raph's idea. As they walked through the sewers on their way home, the red banded turtle took the time to offer unwanted critique's on his brother's fighting skills, making sure to remind them often that he'd taken out the majority of Karai's ninjas unassisted.

"It's a good thing I was fast going through the one's I was fighting, Donny boy," Raph said complacently. "As soon as I saw ya' was surrounded I knew I'd better rescue that cute ass of yours again."

Don's head snapped up as he shot a glare in Raph's direction. "Surrounded? There were only three of them," he said indignantly.

"From the looks of things, three was enough. Ya' were standing so still I figured ya' froze up and I needed ta jump in," Raph insisted. "It's okay, I'm used ta being there for ya' in a fight."

If Don's head could have exploded it would have. Granted, there had been times when he had needed Raph's assistance, especially when Don was trying to do something else during a battle. But there had also been times when Don had pulled Raph's rump out of a tight spot, something the hot head seemed to have forgotten.

"For your information, I didn't need your help," Don stated sharply. "I had the situation completely under control."

"Yeah right genius," Raph responded sarcastically.

By the time they reached the lair Don was fuming. Leo and Mikey had long since stopped attempting to communicate with Raph, since it only gave him another diving off point for his gloating. Nodding a good-night to Don, they both retired to Leo's room for the remainder of the evening.

Don knew that Raph liked a good roll in the hay after a hard fight got his adrenaline pumping, but he was too furious to be in the mood. Without giving his partner a chance to try to cajole him into bed, Don stormed off to his lab, locking the door behind him. He'd make do with his lumpy daybed before he'd listen to any more of Raph's bragging.

With the dawn of a new day, Donatello hoped that Raph had evaluated his snub from the night before and realized how insufferable he'd become. Such was not the case however; during breakfast Raph recounted their adventure to Master Splinter, embellishing even more on his fighting prowess and once again claiming that he'd save Don's life.

Glaring into his coffee cup, Don felt eyes on him and glanced up to catch a contemplative expression on his father's face. Master Splinter had not interrupted Raph's mouth diarrhea even once, allowing his son to fully ensnare himself in his own rope.

Practice was still an hour away when the small family exited the kitchen. Don had no desire to spend that time in Raph's company and was relieved when Master Splinter asked him to look at the radio in his room. Never in his life had Don been so happy at the thought that something else in the lair was broken.

If anyone noticed that Don seemed to be in lighter spirits when they all met up in the dojo later they didn't say anything. All four of the turtles were quiet and respectful as they moved through their warm-ups and then a few drills, knowing that their sensei required complete focus.

Don saw the grim looks on Leo and Mikey's faces when it was time to spar. Raph on the other hand was practically bouncing in anticipation, his gold eyes gleaming a challenge at anyone who met them.

Cracking his knuckles, Raph announced, "I'm gonna make ya' all look like bowling pins today. Maybe I should take 'em all on at once, sensei. Ya' know, just ta make it fair."

"You are most thoughtful, Raphael," Master Splinter said in a soft voice, the kind that should have been a warning to Raph. "However, I believe it would be best for your brothers to face you one at a time, in order to improve their skills of course."

"Sure," Raph said with a grin. "I see your point."

"Donatello." Master Splinter motioned towards the purple banded turtle.

Standing up, Don pulled his bo staff, spinning it before bringing it into a standard upward strike position.

Raph watched him, arms crossed over his plastron. Slowly lowering them, he said, "This is gonna be too easy. Tell ya' what, I ain't even gonna draw my sais, I'll just take your weapon away from ya'."

Don didn't bother to respond to the taunt, merely waiting for Master Splinter's signal to begin.

As soon as his sensei spoke, Don twisted his bo around and down. "You wanted it Raph, here it comes."

Rather than following through with the move and swinging the staff at Raph's head, Don halted its upward progress partway. Stepping forward, he jammed the staff between Raph's thighs and snapped it up, catching Raph's tail and the softer cartilage between his legs.

Raph's response was instantaneous; a pained high pitched cry spilled from his mouth, his eyes teared up, and he fell into a fetal position on the mats, his hands clutching at the injured area.

"Donny!" Leo shouted in stunned surprise as his smart brother stepped away, sliding his bo back into place on his shell.

Mikey looked to Master Splinter, expecting his father to unleash his anger on Donatello, but instead their sensei strolled up to where Raph lay squirming on the floor.

With a deep sigh, Master Splinter said, "Raphael, you have always insisted on learning everything the hard way. By underestimating your brother's skill, you left yourself open to a move that while not completely honorable, was in fact extremely debilitating. You alone created your own vulnerability. I hope this lesson has taught you that humility breeds caution and that caution is more useful than boasting. You are all dismissed."

Master Splinter left the dojo without a backward glance. Leo and Mikey rose to their feet, looking down at Raph and then over at Don, who shook his head. Understanding his message, they left Raph's care to the genius and departed the room.

Don stepped over to where Raph lay, still curled up as much as his shell allowed, and squatted next to him. "Think you can walk?" he asked.

Raph groaned and finally said, "Yeah."

Sliding a hand beneath Raph's arm, Don helped him to his feet, hanging on as Raph swayed a little. "Do you need to throw up?"

Licking his lip, Raph rasped, "No. I'm good."

"Come to the infirmary with me," Don said. "I need to make sure I didn't hurt you too badly."

He half expected an argument from Raph, but the larger turtle just nodded and began to limp alongside his brother. Don didn't attempt to hold onto him, figuring that Raph's pride was damaged enough for one morning.

They reached the infirmary without seeing anyone else and Don guessed that they'd all decided to save Raph further embarrassment. Once inside, Don carefully closed the door to indicate that he wanted privacy.

Raph stood next to the exam table, eying it dubiously, and Don told him, "Don't try to sit down yet. You're going to be a little sore for a while."

"Whose idea was that?" Raph asked, holding onto the edge of the table as Don kneeled behind him.

"Actually I was mad enough that I might have thought of it myself," Don admitted, "but it was Master Splinter's suggestion. He wanted to make sure I could control the strike enough not to do any real damage. That's what he really wanted to talk about when he called me into his room."

Disgruntled, Raph tried not to twitch when Don gently ran his fingers across the bottom of his tail. It was still sore, but Don's touch was soothing and after a minute, Raph's tail responded by wiggling against his brother's hand.

"I'm fine," Raph said, trying to maintain a little dignity.

Don stood up and came to stand next to his brother. "You know you deserved that."

Raph gritted his teeth, his eyes glued to the table, but after a minute he finally ground out, "Yeah."

"Do you understand why we did it?" Don asked, his voice caring.

Glancing up into his brother's face, Raph's expression softened. "I was so cocksure of myself that I was doing the exact same stupid things I did whenever I got pissed. Nothing changed."

"You're learning, Raph," Don said, "and growing. I agree with Master Splinter that you tend to do things the hard way, but I like the results when you finally come out on the other end."

"Next time I need a lesson, could ya' stick ta hitting me over the head?" Raph asked with a chuckle. "That don't hurt as much."

"Your head is too hard for that to do any good," Don replied slyly. "So how about I check the other part of your anatomy that I hit? Just to make sure it's still in fine working order?"

Raph turned around, bracing his carapace against the table. "Go to it, doc. I wouldn't dream of arguing with ya'."

Dropping to his knees once more, Don looked up with a salacious grin. "I hope you're prepared to find out just how well I can handle myself in a dangerous situation."

"I've already learned my lesson, bro'," Raph said with a gasp as Don's warm, wet tongue went to work. "But ya' go right on ahead and keep on teaching me."

End


End file.
